It's surprising

I Didn't Realize Sooner

It comes down to a core personal belief

"We can affect and be in control of our own health"

I'm not here to be indulgent, self-serving or do self aggrandizement
I lifted up my shirt last week and asked my son "how about those abs"
To which he responded, "I think you mean flabs" - the boy has humor

I'm not a hard body at all - I'm just proud of my stamina and longevity
I'm extremely proud of my ability to dash up a flight of stairs
Plus I'm working now in a job that's quite physical

When it comes to looks - Recall my policy
"It's a just little bit about being vain"
Overall looks I'm maybe B- to B+
As ranked against peers at large

When I compare myself to the general population
I'm definitely somewhere in the A-range
Being in Southern California is rough
So many world class bodies here

I tried to cut this chapter but it came back
Personal looks are not the important thing
Looks are not everything but also not nothing

I speak to the topic of vanity with both humility and humor
Looks will tell you a lot about a person, sorry if that hurts
I don't advise ignoring looks while assessing people

This swim community, and it is a community
Is a place where people do see me and we do banter
It feels good when others greet me pleasantly - it's so sweet

Natural selection is regarded by some as the top "invention" or freedom of all humans

It's great that we have the opportunity to speak with others that we might align with, or not
Having the power to not-speak with others is a precious power that I guard continuously
People will absolutely assess you physically and decide if that is a chat worth having

So get over it - if you are not one of the best looking people on the planet
You will probably not be sitting around chatting with those people
Whoever your people are, I hope you will embrace them

There's nothing wrong with hitting outside your social or physical weight class but it is tiresome

People wave, flirt, chat, kibitz and do all kinds of sweet and polite gestures
In the pool at the gym - no one looks like much and we are not there for interaction
We are all wrapped up in a swim cap, gear and goggles - not there for presentation

We go there to work on our bodies and health
So that we can go to other better places
And be ready to rock with our looks

There is nothing wrong with letting hard-earned good health shine!

In a gym - the swimsuits that work at the beach
Give way to more "performance" swim gear
Workout suits streamline a body for work
Like laps and flipping underwater turns

The bathing suits that older people wear
Can be silly and remind us life is a party
Lots of people are having midlife crises
Some of them wear freaky clothes

In a way, part of mine midlife crisis has been cured
By being among a small, loosely corresponding group of gym swimmers
We vie for the open swim lanes at a particular location during a typical week

No one gym-swims for looks - it's not that type of party - we gym swim to look good at other parties

To avoid feelings of shortcoming - I advise we compare ourselves against ourselves only

I like swimmers - they are good neighbors
I don't use the pool as a way to play the scene
Flirting is rare - if something like that happens it's because
Someone gives someone else a weird and very obvious look
My point is that you don't need to prepare for that or be ready

Seriously when I'm at the pool
I'm just there for the workout
Then onto the rest of my day

People give you your workout
At least until you go in the hot tub
You might get some game in there

Lesson Summary

It all boils down to a core personal belief - the idea that we can positively impact and have control over our own health. Despite not aiming for vanity or self-aggrandizement, a recent humorous interaction with his son highlighted the narrator's pride in his stamina and longevity, rather than hard-bodied appearance.

• The narrator is proud of being able to quickly ascend a flight of stairs and working in a physically demanding job.
• He acknowledges he may not be the best-looking among his peers, giving himself a B- to B+ rating, but compares favorably to the general population, ranking himself in the A-range.
• Living in Southern California, surrounded by exceptional physiques, adds pressure, but he stresses the significance of personal looks without undermining their importance.

The narrator shares insights on vanity with humility and humor, indicating that looks can indeed convey information about a person. He recommends not ignoring looks entirely when assessing individuals, as appearances play a role in interactions, especially within social circles like his swim community.

• He appreciates the pleasant greetings and banter within his swim community, where appearance influences social dynamics.
• Physical assessment by others can dictate conversational engagements, underlining the importance of accepting appearances as a factor in social interactions.
• While acknowledging the weight of physical impressions, the narrator emphasizes the value of prioritizing relationships based on personal alignment, rather than sheer physical appeal.

Ultimately, the narrator sees the gym as a space for improving health and fitness, rather than a platform for socializing based on appearances. He mentions the absence of flirtation during workouts, highlighting the focus on self-improvement and valuing personal progress over external comparisons.

• He urges a focus on self-comparison and not comparing oneself to others in the pursuit of personal growth.
• Engaging in swimming for fitness fosters a sense of community and neighborliness among enthusiasts, with interactions based more on shared activities than physical attractiveness.
• By prioritizing workouts over social posturing, the narrator advocates for valuing health and self-improvement, fostering confidence and well-being beyond mere physical appearances.